Well, my apologies for the brash title but thats exactly how I felt when my oncologist called and gave me the report (stage 4 bone cancer) just hours before we entered 2015. Here I am thinking I have had slight pain in my back due to cramps. Mother nature was not to blame for this one. I actually was happy I had a cycle, most women who have chemotherapy it takes years for them to get one. Imagine that, I was happy to be bleeding and having cramps. You can’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor. So after I quietly told my oncologist “um ok I guess we will go from here.” I burst into a million tears. Here I was thinking that I kicked cancers butt and had crossed the finish line, I was back where I started. I can not explain to you the immediate thoughts that I had. The resounding underlying tone in it all was, I was going to die and I was very afraid.
This has almost been a month ago and I will not lie and say that I’m all happy and dancing around my house like I popped a molly. Well actually the meds I take do make me sweat like I’m on X in a rave but that’s a whole other story. But, I think I found a happy medium. I chose to speak things into existence and I declare that I am cancer free, but I also am comfortable in not being afraid of death. I damn sure ain’t welcoming it, but I’m not scared either. See the thing about fear is that it blocks you from getting to the next level of faith. If you’re afraid of the worse possible outcome it will continually paralyze you from getting to the next level. I don’t want sympathy and I don’t want money. What I want is two things. For people to stop thinking cancer is a death sentence. It isn’t, it is just as intolerable as the flu. Things only have as much power as you assign it. I give it zero power. I also want anyone facing any type of obstacle to keep pushing. Stare the worse case scenario in the face and know that it isn’t part of your destiny.
We are destined to be great, to leave great legacies and to be full of prosperity. Nothing foreign that enters your body has to stay there. You have to believe that God is a healer of anything. Even in you having it you can still continue to fight, be happy and feel good. I pray that in your darkest hour no matter what it is, that through faith in a higher source, belief in yourself, maintaining a healthy lifestyle and by living in love you can conquer anything.
I will try to blog as much as I can. I have a lot on my mind and I’m willing to answer questions. Let me know just email me. I pray you all have beautiful and blessed lives.
Zeralyn or Tara if you nicesty.