Did You Wife a Hoe?

August 16th, 2012 |

This is self explanatory, I’m just here to help… I don’t want anymore Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson and Evelyn Lozada problems. But, heres a little secret that was a staged affair. Sorry to bust the bubble, am I the only one who thinks Chad is kinda girly? Ok, off topic. Let these small steps guide you, along with some bands… Hoes can smell bands from a mile away…

10. Where dem babies at?
This young lady talks about kids that you never see. You wonder is this young lady the kid whisperer, she’s always talking about kids that she never has in her possession. This is a tall tale sign that she might be out trying to relive her life childess. No REAL mom would just leave their kids for weeks at at a time UNLESS it was work related. Not that band work either…

9. She’s new to the City…
No one really knows this girl. She may have just relocated there in the past 6 months. Anything longer than 6 months, a true hoe will have dug her claws into the city’s promoters, DJ’s, Dope Boys etc already. Most chicks who say they live in more than one city and doesn’t have a reputable job. Yes, get you and your bands out of there quick.

8.First name ALWAYS, Last name VACATIONING…
Now I’m pretty sure most jobs have leave, and sick days. BUT THERE IS NO WAY its beyond 30 days. If your boo is gone most days out of the week and she’s not a flight attendent. It’s safe to say she might be living that hustle cat life. Not knocking it, just letting you know.

7.Locks on the phone.
This really is for males and females. Why do you have a lock on your phone? Did I miss where you have valuable classified information stored in your phone? The blueprint to the land of Oz? Tupacs lattitude and longitude location. Locks mean you are hiding something.

6.She gives good head…
This is self explanatory, this is not a talent you are just born with. Practice makes perfect.

5.Rush for Marriage…
Yes, this is what I call a desperation attempt. These chicks, if they have fooled you, are trying to make you stick with them. All, before you find out they fucked a million people.

4.She used to strip…
Hahahahahahhaha I had to.

3.She used to model…
LMAO

2.She likes the fast life
A chick that has no intetions of a career, family etc. All she talks about is money, clothes, cars and bags. This gal doesn’t want a real man she just wants a good time. If you are a good time guy, likes to pop bottles, shop, travel… this ones for you!

1.Bands will make her dance…

These are jokes and truths at the same damn time. Please to do not hold these to be heavily calculated truths…